IS YOUR CHILD HYPERACTIVE

As a parent we must understand that the movements of your child is very important and must during his/her growing up years. These movements and behaviors vary from child to child which can be thought of or considered as a normal limits.

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A parent must also understand the fact that if your hyperactive child is so much more active to such a limit that he/her has difficulty in adjusting to the regular family set standards or in situations he/her is placed in these different abnormal situations that he feels is not as per his normal movements

The parent who expects the young child to be quiet for ten or fifteen minutes, to remain in one place without wiggling, or to pay attentions for a long period may call every child hyperactive, when actually the child is only behaving in a normal manner.

But the problems become bigger and serious when you as a parent keep on coaxing to behave properly, do your way that you as a parent think is a right behavior, to sit quietly, not to move and not to shake.

You are actually increasing the problems by your repeatedly hindering.

One of the major causes of nervousness is expecting from a young child behavior which for him is impossible. Instead of becoming less active because of the impossible demands placed upon him, on the contrary, he may become more active.

How to deal

As a parent how do we understand dealing with this situation. Let us understand that,

Not all hyperactive behaviour is a result of undue pressure.

But as a first step in attempting to reduce hyperactive behaviour, the removal of tension is advised.

It is important to note that the parent’s goal should be to reduce hyperactivity, not to eliminate it.

Learning to be less active may take time. To tell the hyperactive child that he will be rewarded for not wiggling, moving, tapping his fingers or feet, or any of the other symptoms of his hyperactivity for a day- or even an hour- is not realistic. Parents goal should be merely a lessening of the activity.

The hyperactive child generally has an abundance of physical energy which needs to be released.
He should be allowed to do something which involves much movement like giving him lot of  physical and mental activities which he can do in the home, but not ones which imply disapproval, may be helpful.

Orders to clean your room, make your bed, pick up the blocks , and help with the dishes while involving the needed movement have been associated with scoldings and are rarely effective.

The hyperactive child does not respond well to verbal praise unless it is accompanied by some opportunity to release his need for movement.

Instead of waiting for your hyperactive child to misbehave, the wise parent develops a sensitivity to the particular child’s need for movement and tries to help him before he does something which will need to be punished. Before he hits, punches, or pulls, the wise parent will direct his energy into some more acceptable activity.

He can then be praised for good behavior instead of being criticized. This philosophy of “ catching the child being good”, instead of the traditional approach of waiting for him to do something bad, is the basis for most effective parent treatment of hyperactive children.

There is no excuse for the adult to say to the child, “ I just knew you were going to get into trouble.” Instead of merely watching, the wise parent should  have attempted to turn the situation into one which was positive, instead of waiting until it became a situation which required the child to be scolded.

Hyperactivity is often passed off as an attention-seeking device, and it is indeed an effective means of getting adults to react. But recognizing that it is a symptom of the need for attention, and treating this need rather than the symptom, is apart of a wise procedure.

A hyperactive child, with his excess energy, is more often a problem in groups of children than when he is alone. Adults respond warmly to an active child when they are with him alone. Because the hyperactive child may be “triggered” by the activities of other children, removing him for a short period of time from the presence of other children when he becomes highly excitable is sometimes necessary. Scolding, bawling him out , making him listen while you are trying to reason with him are generally not effective.

The hyperactive child likes and needs activity, but may become confused and distracted by too much activity around him. Television, Mobile Phones, various unhealthy eating choices have been found to be disturbing for hyperactive children. Any kind of over stimulation should be noted and an attempt made to avoid the situation which caused the overstimulation. Firmness , applied consistently but intelligently, generally makes the hyperactive child feels most comfortable. Confusion is disturbing to the hyperactive child, so family activities should not involve frantic behaviour in which there is lack of clear direction. Movement must be allowed, but it should be in a controlled situation and for specific purposes.

Because the hyperactive child is a child, there are times when is going to get into trouble, do things he should not, and almost succeed in convincing his parents that his case is hopeless. But unfortunately these moments pass. The hyperactive child can be warm, outgoing, and lovable, willing to do anything to help, particularly if it involved physical activity which requires that he use up some of his excess energy.

There are cases of extreme hyperactivity in children which cannot be handled in the home. In these cases, the child should be seen by a doctor to be certain that the condition is not caused by a physical problem. It is also wise to examine our own behaviour to see if it has helped the child with his problem or has resulted only in his being still more active. We should ask if we are providing a home situation secure with love and with minimum of disturbing factors- one in which limits are placed on the child’s behaviour and there is clear understanding of these limits.

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Kamla Kashyap
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